I started querying again earlier this week. I hadn't given up after receiving so many rejections and no requests but I had stepped back for a moment. I took stock of what I had and got some great feedback on my query letter and my manuscript as a whole. I thought shining a light on it again would help me make it stronger for another round of queries.
I've been sending a few queries every day for the past few days and today I got some responses. One one was a form rejection letter after two days and the second was a form rejection after one. These new rejections shook me more than even the first one had. I couldn't explain why these latest ones hurt more than the ones in the past. My confidence wasn't in overload but I was feeling very sure of myself - much more so than before. Thanks to betas and CPs I knew for sure that I had something worthwhile - worth reading. And yet more people don't want to read it.
One of the agents said it wasn't a good fit for their client list. That almost sounds like my manuscript can't be trusted in polite company. It's going to run around the room and annoying all the other older, established manuscripts and no one will invite it to any more parties.
We're cool though - we can fit in with all of the other polite manuscripts without causing trouble - well, much trouble anyway. Life without a little trouble is very boring.
So, I'm down a bit today but I'm not out. Tomorrow is another day, after all. There are still a lot more queries out there and others still waiting to be sent. Today was just a tough one - two rejections within an hour of each other on top of a rough day at work. My poor brain just wasn't having any of it by 5pm.
But, that day will come when someone, somewhere will see something special in me and my little manuscript that could. And upon that day there will be some freaking out.